AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF CRANKERY
Confessions of an obvious crank
Reviewers, referees, & adversaries: PLEASE READ
There is no subtle way to say it: I am a crank. I would like it to be known that CRANKERY is my approach, my method, my area of expertise, and—dare I say—my passion.
When an author works alone, with no PhD in physics (or any other field for that matter), has no institutional affiliation, self-publishes rather than in journals, cannot even manage to secure an arXiv endorsement, claims to have “unified physics,” and “grounded math and human behavior in physics,” claims to have derived both GR and QM from a single framework, named a law after himself and then renamed it after he “discovered” a dozen other laws, compares trajectory to Darwin, notes Einstein was a patent clerk, argues established theories predict correctly but lack mechanism, unironically uses phrases like “completes the unification of physics”, known to say things like he “understands reality more than any other human in history,” has a pen name, and that pen name is “Animal Taggart,” on a Substack called “OBSCENITY press,” who wrote a satirical takedown of string theory before publishing the ACTUAL framework, claims to answer why there is “something rather than nothing,” says “these laws complete the unification of physics” in the first line, has two books in development with grandiose titles, one of which is called the “World Destroyer’s Handbook,” now on pre-sale for $100,000,000 USD, emphasizes this work has taken years, working alone, and that the “theory” touches every domain from physics to economics to biology to sociology, employs phrases like “identical physics operating in different substrates,” claims the framework has massive “predictive power,” with revision numbers on their documents implying obsessive, unpaid iteration at great personal cost, provides a list of phenomena unified spanning three pages, known to confide in friends “the isolation is hard to describe,” who’s work is only validated by AI “so far”...
The would-be-reviewer WOULD BE OUT OF THEIR MIND to waste their time on such OBVIOUS CRANKERY.
I am a crank. There is no defense against the accusation, for it is merely accurate.
The academy has warned us, and rightfully so, to avoid the output of a crank as one avoids intimate encounters with persons of ill-repute.
I dare not waste any more of your time. Unless, only if you are curious, and have nothing more pressing to do, there is a little-known fact, nay, lesser known law of physics, which may be of trifling interest:
Over sufficient time, banging away at any keyboard, a crank must produce the correct unified theory of physics. This occurs in exactly the same way that a monkey at a typewriter must eventually produce Hamlet.
The steadfast, dignified, and skeptical scientist, committed to rigor, as he has been so rightfully taught, has no compunction in duly noting that the monkey’s copy of the Bard’s great tragedy is of equal delight to the original, being itself IDENTICAL to the original. The words, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy” read aloud from the simian facsimile, provide even the intrepid scientist, quite oddly, the same, even identical satisfaction as a copy originating with a respectable publisher. But how can this be? It’s almost as though it were THE IDEAS THEMSELVES that mattered, and not the fact that they came from an ape pounding away at the beleaguered keys of a mythic Smith Corona. But that can’t be right. Can it?
The dignified and adversarial reviewer might find that the crank sometimes, quite by accident, produces a thing of mathematical truth and beauty, that verily transcends its untouchable terminus.
It’s my advice to you, to DISREGARD EVERYTHING you find on this website, or in any book I have written, ESPECIALLY the mathematics, empirical observations, and logical conclusions.
Better not to get any of it on you, lest you become a crank yourself.